To Remake or Not to Remake

Would you remake these movies?

I am often befuddled by the knee-jerk reactions of most people when they hear about a movie being remade (or given a sequel, or turned into a stage play or TV show). They are often up in arms about the mere thought of such "blasphemy" ("I can't believe they are remaking such-and such!"), as if they themselves have a stake in the property. Granted, they have an emotional interest in the original movie, but another version of it is not (or, at least, should not) "ruin" the first film. It will still exist no matter how the remake (or sequel or stage play or TV show) turns out.

Nevertheless, some recent announcements have cinephiles scratching their heads (if not forcibly tearing their hair from them). Take the news that India is remaking Casablanca. Sounds a bit odd, sure, but what was left unsaid from all the headlines was how often this actually happens, as this list attests (yes, there were Indian remakes of such movies as Kramer vs. Kramer and The Silence of the Lambs). And that's not even mentioning the most (in)famous example, the so-called Turkish Star Wars. And why should we be surprised? American studios do it all the time.

The Wizard of Oz is another all-time classic that will soon be remade -- or should I say, re-imagined -- as both a feature film and a TV mini-series. Again, nothing new here: from The Wiz to Wicked to the Muppets, filmmakers can't stay away from that yellow-brick road. And yet, none have (or will) tarnish the original (itself technically a remake as well).

Then there is the curious case of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Like Dorothy and friends, Snow and company have had their tale told and retold several times, yet two future films are taking a crack at it again. Disney itself is retooling its own classic as a martial arts epic, titled Snow and the Seven. Meanwhile, teen queen Amanda Bynes has seven nerds instead of dwarfs in Sydney White, which seems to owe as much to Ball of Fire (itself a "reimagining" of the fairy tale) as the original story.

Oz and Snow White aren't the only oft-told tales having another go. In addition to Robert Zemeckis' animated version, Dickens' A Christmas Carol will get a romantic comedy twist with Matthew McConaughey of all people. And Kipling's The Jungle Book will get another live action attempt.

Science fiction and horror movies are particularly ripe pickings for remakers of late, especially those from the 70's and 80's. This is likely due to two reasons: the advancements of special effects technologies, and most of today's younger directors were weaned on such films (suckled at the teat of Spielberg and Lucas, as it were).

In addition to Rob Zombie's Halloween redux (opening this Friday), such other haunts from the past that will be revisited in the future include Friday the 13th, The Changeling and even another Wicker Man (lord help us all). Reaching even further back into the vaults, RKO will update its own Isle of the Dead, and there will even be a modern take on The Tingler (really, who could do it better then William Castle?).

As for sci fi, the remakes in the works range from such certified classics as Fantastic Voyage and Logan's Run to cult favorites like Death Race 2000, Escape from New York and even Barbarella. And that's not even mentioning the sword and sorcery fantasies Clash of the Titans and Conan the Barbarian.

Speaking of which, it will be interesting to see who they get for Conan; whoever is cast will have big ... furry briefs? ... to fill. Which brings up another challenge remakers have: finding actors talented enough and willing enough to take on iconic screen characters. For example, who could make us forget Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon?

On the other hand, some films have subject matter that provide compelling avenues for a remake regardless of the film's original star power. For example, Sean Connery and Dustin Hoffman starred in, respectively, The Anderson Tapes and Straw Dogs, both in the process of being remade. The former had technological aspects while the latter deals with themes of societal brutality that not only still resonate in today's world, but are probably even more prevalent.

Of course, there are also remakes that are merely being made to cash-in on a current trend (Howard Stern, who wants to remake Porky's of all things, must be really happy with the box office of Superbad).

Then there are the special cases. Footloose, like this summer's Hairspray, is being remade via the Broadway stage. Documentaries are another option, such as the recently announced fictionalized remake of Murderball. Then there is the always fertile ground of television, with Dallas being a current example.

And finally, there are the "remakes that aren't really remakes" like Seventeen, a remake by any other name of Big, only in reverse.

Naturally, there is no way one can foresee how well any of these remakes will turn out. They could be good, or they could join the ranks of the worst of all-time. However, fear not, for it looks like at least one studio is taking steps to prove wrong the old adage that there is "no original ideas in Hollywood". So there is some hope for the future. Oh, and one more thing ...

I can't believe they are remaking Valley of the Dolls!

Links via HollywoodReporter.com, Amazon.com, Imdb.com, Variety.com, Cinematical.com, AfterEllen.com, MoviesBlog.MTV.com, Bloody-Disgusting.com, ObsessedWithFilm.com, ZombieDirector.blogspot.com, SlashFilm.com, TVGuide.com, EW.com and Movies.AOL.com.

Dirty Duds

First of all, who knew there was so much Dirty Dancing merchandise?

So much in fact, that Lionsgate is currently suing several companies for trademark infringement. The reason? Mass production of apparel, mostly infant wear, that have the movie's signature phrase "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" (#98 on AFI's top 100 list of best movie quotes of all-time) printed on them.

Now, what kind of parent would dress their poor, helpless infant in such an outfit (pictured)? I'll tell you: the kind that needs to have directions printed directly on the baby. What's next? "This end up"?

Links via Movies.Yahoo.com, AFI.com and CafePress.com.

From Under the Sea

Three major openings this week - but only one on the Great White Way:

- Disney's The Little Mermaid and Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein officially opened on the same day in different cities (Denver and Seattle). The local critics have spoken, all citing that both shows need work before they reach Broadway. Uh, isn't that what they're there for?

- After televised auditions, a rehearsal period and previews, the much-publicized revival of Grease has finally opened on Broadway ... and the reviews were pretty much what we expected. However, considering the advance sales due to the TV show, the producers should be crying all the way to the bank. Broadway.com has opening night photos and video, while Broadway World introduces you to the Thunderbirds.

- Good news for Billy Elliot fans (the movie is one of my all-time favorites): signs (literally) are pointing to a Broadway bow next year.

- Could Hairspray movie star Nikki Blonsky be eyeing the Broadway version for her next Tracy Turnblad tour de force? Meanwhile, Lance Bass is Corny -- Collins, that is; and meet the latest Edna, MADtv's Paul Vogt, who dishes on the real reason why the Las Vegas production of Hairspray closed.

- More casting buzz for Rob Marshall's Nine movie, including Oscar winners Sophia Loren and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Oscar nominees Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz and future Oscar nominee Marion Cotillard (La Vie en Rose).

- As Kevin Kline, Jennifer Garner and Daniel Sunjata prepare for a Cyrano de Bergerac revival, George Hamilton returns to Chicago. And could Patrick Wilson, Anne Hathaway, John C. Reilly and Debra Messing be the latest Guys and Dolls?

- See who will take on the iconic movie roles played by Madonna and Hayley Mills in the West End Desperately Seeking Susan and the US tour Whistle Down the Wind.

- Feel the rhythm of South Africa with Disney's The Lion King.

- Enter the Broadway World time machine for a look back at the Xanadu movie. Elsewhere, Broadway.com has a lively chat with that scene-stealing evil muse, Jackie Hoffman.

- Alfred Hitchcock's The 39 Steps and Jane Austen's Emma hit regional stages.

- Frost/Nixon closes on Broadway. What's next for Tony winner Frank Langella and Tony nominee Michael Sheen? Filming the movie version with director Ron Howard.

- The West End musical epic stage version of The Lord of the Rings extends through the end of September.

- The Ritz star Seth Rudetsky discusses briefs, towels and robes.

- Holy stage faves, Batman! Take a look at the Batman musical that never was.

- And finally: Avenue Q star Rod (just Rod, like Cher) sits down for a "Cue & A" with Playbill.com.

Links via Playbill.com, GoldDerby.LATimes.com, Broadway.com, BroadwayWorld.com, AccessHollywood.com and FilmJunk.com.

How to pick.. the pic's?

Previously I have always made my screening selections at TIFF almost exclusively with respect to time - and time constraints. This year, it's WIDE open and with so many possibilities it's made me think about what I want to see and why. This has also been on the minds as many others (what else are we suppose to do before we get the full schedule anyhow?), and my favourite description this year by far is Crunchy Squirrel's post here.

I think the most important thing to consider when making your selections, is to know yourself and to know what you want to get out of the festival this year. I'm sure that sounds like common sense, but sometimes we forget. We think "Oh, yes.. I *will* get up early and get to that 8am screening" when we know we are really a night owl and this is unlikely. Or "I am going to do whatever it takes to see the new super cool thing, even though I have no interest in the content" now, are we really going to like it? It is possible, but is it worth the risk?

So, I suggest think about what you want. Do you want to see the stars? Gala's are the way to go. Want to see films before they hit the regular theatres? Check out the Special Presentations. Looking to see up and coming talent so you have those great stories and memories later? Check out Canada First! and Discovery Programs. Want a taste of worlds near and far? Contemporary World Cinema is the way to go.

One method a colleague of mine shared last year was that she sees no American releases. I thought that was quite interesting way to do it. Another person I spoke to mentioned not watching multiple subtitled films in a row. Fascinating. We are all different people and have different rational behind what we want to see and what we are willing to do to see it.

There are many methods of choosing and many factors to consider when pulling together your picks. In my next post, I will let you know how I make my selections.

Out in Film: John Barrowman

A huge star in the United Kingdom, John Barrowman is fast becoming one to watch on this side of the pond as well.

A consummate triple threat, Barrowman began his stage career opposite none other then Elaine Paige in Cole Porter's Anything Goes. Leading roles followed in such West End hits as Miss Saigon, The Phantom of the Opera and Sunset Boulevard (with Betty Buckley and, later, Paige again). He would later reprise his Joe Gillis on Broadway, where he also starred in the Stephen Sondheim review Putting It Together with Carol Burnett.

A fixture on the "telly" in Britain, Barrowman appeared on American screens in the short-lived prime time soaps Central Park West and Titans. On film, he has had memorable musical roles in De-Lovely and The Producers.

But it is his role as the sexy, outspoken Captain Jack Harkness on the BBC's Doctor Who reboot that has truly made him a star. The bisexual space adventurer proved so popular that a successful spin-off series, Torchwood, was soon launched (don't worry; the series will make its way to US DVD early next year).

Considering all the movie musicals in the works of late, somebody needs to snatch up Barrowman for a major role to show America what England has known all along: this guy has got it.

Links via Imdb.com and TVShowsOnDVD.com.

Queer as Classic

In my web wanderings, I recently discovered these parody videos that aired on TV Land a few years back. Three gay faves (Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy and Sex and the City) are hilariously sent up by recasting them with such classic TV stars as Beatrice Arthur, Joyce DeWitt and Loretta Swit.

Of course, my twisted, pop culture-addled mind started cooking up fantasy spoofs of recent gay shows, replacing the gay characters of today with the gay characters of yesterday. OK, mostly gay-seeming characters of yesterday.

On Will and Grace, straight-laced Will Truman would now be played by Jack Coleman, a.k.a. straight-laced Steven Carrington of Dynasty, while the flamboyant Jack McFarland would by portrayed by the even more flamboyant Wayland Flowers, sans Madame. OK, Madame can be Karen.

Nancy McKeon's Jo Polniaczek of The Facts of Life would feel right at home on The L Word, as would the entire cast of Xena: Warrior Princess and the lesbian witches from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. OK, and Alice from The Brady Bunch too.

And let us not forget Queer as Folk. The dynamic duo of Brian Kinney and Justin Taylor would be the actual dynamic duo, Adam "Batman" West and Burt "Boy Wonder" Ward. Wimpy Michael Novotny would now be wimpy Jodie Dallas from Soap (Billy Crystal), while his Uncle Vic would be none other then Uncle Arthur from Bewitched (Paul Lynde). His hunky boyfriend Ben Bruckner would be embodied by Patrick Duffy of Dallas. OK, I know, Bobby Ewing wasn't gay, but he looked good without a shirt, so ...

Forever lovelorn Ted Schmidt would be played by the forever lovelorn Waylon Smithers of The Simpsons, with Lost in Space's Dr. Smith (Jonathan Harris) as unlucky in love Emmett Honeycutt. Lindsay and Melanie? Kate and Allie, naturally.

Some could say that proud mama Debbie Novotny was already played by a gay character (Sharon "Chris Cagney" Gless), but let's change it up with ... Jamie "Corporal Klinger" Farr.

OK, maybe I went too (wait for it) Farr with that one ...

Linka via TVLand.com and YouTube.com.

There's No Business Like Show Business

Rounding up the latest scoop on exciting DVDs coming your way soon:

Show Business: The Road to Broadway- This documentary takes a rare look at the creation of a Broadway show. Focusing on the 2003-2004 season, the film covers such gay-friendly shows as Avenue Q, Taboo and Wicked. Available October 16.

Warner Directors Series - Stanley Kubrick- What Kubrick fans have been waiting for: two-disc special editions of 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, Eyes Wide Shut and Full Metal Jacket. No official word though if never-before-seen deleted scenes will be included. Available October 23.

Looney Tunes - Golden Collection, Volume Five- Bugs, Daffy, Porky and the whole Warner Brothers gang are back with even more classic cartoons. Visit TV Shows on DVD for a full contents list. Available October 30.

John Waters: This Filthy World- A candid look at the sultan of trash cinema, John Waters. Includes dishy bits on Kathleen Turner, Tab Hunter and Divine. Available October 30.

Cruising- This controversial film's long-delayed DVD release will be preceded by a special screening at the Castro Theatre this Friday. Meanwhile, fans of the movie can find a like-minded soul over at Film4, or you can head over to Slate to find out how Cruising star Al Pacino got typecast as ... Al Pacino. Available September 18.

All the DVDs covered here are currently available for pre-order on Amazon.com. Click on the individual titles to purchase them now.

Links via Playbill.com, Cinematical.com, FilmBabble.blogspot.com, TVShowsOnDVD.com, SGN.org, SFGate.com, CastroTheatre.com, Channel4.com and Slate.com.